Got judged by her date for using smart pet products, so she kicked him out of her house: ‘He said that if I’m too busy to do everything myself, maybe I shouldn’t have a cat in the first place’

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Sep 8, 2026 11:15 AM EDT

A pet is a responsibility, but it doesn't turn you into a slave.


Sometimes we compare the responsibility that a pet involves to that of babies. But it is not really the same. Babies need constant support from their mother. They are fed and cherished by them. They almost can't breathe if it weren't for their mothers. With pets is not exactly the same. After 45 days of life, most animals are able to get away from their mother, as they don't need anything directly from them. So, luckily, their care will fall to a human being. But that doesn't mean that the human now has the role of the pet mother. Sentimentally, they do, but not according to nature, as they do not have the same responsibilities over them.

As a cat and dog owner, I can say that taking care of them is a time-consuming activity. You have to keep them fed and clean, with all their vaccines up to date, and their spaces also need to be clean (their bed and the place where they do their necessities). This takes time, and even I had to once ask for a day off work to take them to the vet. But it's not comparable to the time and energy that taking care of a baby consumes. That is far more intense.

Where I'm going with all this is that, even though it is not that hard to take care of a pet, it doesn't mean it is not time-consuming. So if you had any kind of machine that helped you out with the task so you could spend less time cleaning and more time with them, why wouldn't you use it? There is no need to suffer when you already have a machine that helps you out. With all these you may realize that I'm in fact in favor of u/Sherry_Cheng in this story. She's right about using what she has to spend less time doing chores. That man had no business giving his unsolicited opinion about the matter. 

Advertisement
  • My date came over for the first time and somehow ended up judging the way I take care of my cat. He found out how much I spent on my Petkit self-cleaning litter box and was like, "Why would you spend that much? If you have a cat, you should spend some time and just scoop the litter yourself." Then he saw my automatic feeder and water fountain and basically had the same reaction. "Is all this really necessary? Can't your cat just use a bowl?"
    via Sherry_Cheng
  • A cat laying on a couch.
    via Erik-Jan Leusink

    A cat laying on a couch.

     

  • Sometimes I'm a bit busy with work. I like having a clean litter box, scheduled meals, fresh water, and being able to check on my cat via my phone when I'm not home. And honestly, if I can make pet care easier and spend more time actually playing with her, why wouldn't I? He also said that if I'm too busy to do everything myself, maybe I shouldn't have a cat in the first place. He has not even had a pet I ended up asking him to leave because I really didn't appreciate being judged
    via Sherry_Cheng
  • in my own home over how I spend my money or take care of my cat. I know not everyone wants to use smart pet products, and that's totally fine. But I genuinely don't understand why some people see them as "lazy" or think you care less about your pet because you use them. Busy people I can have pets too.
    via Sherry_Cheng
  • A kitten laying on a wooden floor.
    via Loan

    A kitten laying on a wooden floor.

  • Bay_de_Noc Besides not having a pet, turns out he is also not having a second date.
    via Bay_de_Noc
  • Kr Treefrog2 I love my cats. I want them to have a freshly- scooped litter box each time they use it. I want them to have their meals on a schedule instead of waiting until I'm available to feed them. I want them to have fresh, flowing water that encourages them to drink more and helps their kidneys stay healthy. So yeah, I'm okay with spending the money on smart devices that make all our lives better. And I think this has less to do with automation and more to do with his insecurity and jealous
    via Kr Treefrog2
  • AdLumpy4466 That is sooo annoying op! You dodged bullet Imao a
    via AdLumpy4466
  • Feral-Reindeer-696 He sounds judgy and cheap. Bullet dodged.
    via Feral-Reindeer-696
  • ishouldliveinNaCl I had a guy who thought it was weird I had a housekeeper. I even told him I was literally a C-Exec, like what am I gonna do if I work 12 hours a day and have 3 pets? Come home (I worked remotely so this is kind of an exaggeration but I'd be so bone tired de d after work) and clean for 1-2 hours and then sleep and work all over again? Like my Litter Robots made it so my housekeeper didn't have much of a chore and also made it so I could easily clean if she were out that week. Ea
    via ishouldliveinNaCl
  • he did a task today I couldn't have done. Was completely bizarre, I honestly thought it was jealousy. I feel like this guy could be jealous of your ability to have nice things and have a whole system?
    via ishouldliveinNaCl
  • SelectSpy808 "If you're too busy to hand-wash your own clothes, you shouldn't have clothes in the first place!" Yeah, it's called evolution.
    via SelectSpy808
  • AdvancedSquash Direct Your date was probably looking for a more house wife type person... When he saw you were using labor-saving technology to make your life easier it ruined his 1950s tradwife dreams. Next he'll be upset that you use a washing machine or a dishwasher. You should be pounding those clothes against the rocks out at the river! Lol jk
    via AdvancedSquash Direct
  • Cattentaur I have a food dish that detects one of my cats' microchip and ignores the other cat's chip specifically because the ignored cat is on a prescription diet and isn't allowed to eat the other cat's food. It has a lid that only opens if the correct cat is within a certain distance of it. It would be so stressful if I had to watch the one cat eat to keep the other cat from eating her food, because she usually will not finish her food in one sitting and will leave it and come back to it lat
    via Cattentaur
  • I'm nervous about the automatic litterboxes (and put off by the price) because of horror stories I've heard of cats getting trapped in them, but I won't say I haven't considered them, and I certainly don't judge people for using them. Also, calling water fountains a "smart device" is kind of hilarious. The only electronics in it run a little pump that moves water through a filter so their water isn't stagnant. It's only slightly more advanced than a water bowl. I love my cats' water fountain, it
    via Cattentaur
  • RachelWWV He's mad because he wants you for your unpaid labor and he figures if you won't scoop your cat's litter by hand, you won't wash his underwear. If you get a pet fountain instead of a regular bowl, you'll order delivery instead of homecooking meals. Also, another facet is jealousy. He views your cat as directly competing with him for your love and attention and he is mad you make sure your cat has nice stuff.
    via RachelWWV
  • Tall Birthday_7654 What has necessary got to do with it? Who's gonna scoop sh twice a day if they don't have to?
    via Tall Birthday_7654

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

first date pets adulthood Cats pet owners
Scroll Down For The Next Article